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Like any other calamitous event, however, the job loss crisis can present an opportunity for growth. Commitment and diligence are required to transform present pain into future positive outcomes. There are several emotional stages you must work through to reach the more positive frame of mind you need to re-enter the workplace. These stages of coping are necessary to achieve resolution of job loss.
Acknowledgement
The first reactions to loss are pain, fear and lowered self-esteem. Next, denial of these feelings serves to cushion the discomfort temporarily. Acknowledging these feelings can be a helpful first step toward making efforts to cope successfully. In recognizing the need to boost self-confidence, a plan of action will mobilize your resources. You can ask friends and family for help and support. You cannot easily approach a job interview while feeling depressed, angry, bitter, discouraged or fearful. Dealing openly and honestly with appropriate persons can free up positive emotional energy for job seeking tasks. It might be helpful to talk about the circumstances and events leading up to the loss of your job with a friend, a loved one, a professional counselor or a support group. Sometimes, keeping a journal can help to put such an experience into perspective.
Ask Yourself The Following:
- * What actually happened to cause me to lose my job?
- * How did I receive news of the lay-off.?
- * How did I react to the news?
- * How long was I in that particular job?
- * What was my relationship with my boss, my subordinates, my colleagues?
Seeking Support and Help
It is not unusual for a person to be depressed after losing a job. The depression is temporary if you get busy and take control of your future. Don't hesitate to share what has happened to you with people you know and ask for good job leads.
Venting Anger and Resentment
Letting go of bitterness and anger is essential for resolving any personal crisis. Healthy ways of dealing with frustration include vigorous physical exercise, volunteering time for community activities, tackling postponed home tasks, etc. Running, swimming, raking, painting, and sweeping are good outlets and give you a sense of accomplishment.
Reassessment
The initial shock of a job loss may bring about "tunnel vision." All you can see are the negative aspects of your situation. Even though it was a very important source of self-esteem and income, your former job could not have offered all the things in life which are important to you. Try to make a conscious effort to think about other rewarding aspects of life which are truly of value. This is the time to reassess your strengths, weaknesses and interests if you are to gain the confidence and optimism necessary for starting over again. This may turn out to be an important turning point for positive changes.
Impact on the Family
For a child, the loss of a job by a parent represents a significant change in their world. Children as well as adults need to go through a grief process. Children are perceptive. It is usually futile to try to keep such information from them. Without knowing the source of adult unhappiness, a child might feel responsible for the sadness or anger. It is important for all members of the family to talk together and help each other while a parent is between jobs. Children can be understanding and supportive when they know they are not to blame.
Strategies to Maintain Financial Stability
Investigate severance pay and other benefits to which you may be entitled; such as outplacement services, an office and phone to use while looking for a job, and the continuation of health insurance benefits. Request agreements about pay-out schedules in writing. Other pointers are:
Notify creditors of your current situation. A flexible payment schedule might be arranged.
Apply for unemployment benefits which are available to you if you lost a job through no fault of your own. Check with your local jurisdiction for other requirements.
Follow a daily schedule - work on resumes, make calls, do research, set up interviews for at least six hours a day.
Be good to yourself - eat well, exercise, have fun, get adequate rest.
Focus onpossibilities and accomplishments, not on failures.
Written by Helene W. King, Ph.D., CEAP
CopeLine is published by COPE, Inc.
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Washington, DC 20005
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This material may be reproduced without permission provided that it is not modified or altered in any way and acknowledgment is made to COPE, Inc.
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© Copyright 1998 COPE, Incorporated.
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